Hospitality, Advocacy, Education and Community (Belonging) with Latina Martha Little of Kitsap County - "Anytime we have a conversation with, with someone, it's like, um, you are part of our family. You are part of us. And so we want to impart that, that wisdom and that love, because we want to, um, we want to ensure that we're all a family and we're all, you know, um, benefiting from, from each other."
Hospitality, Advocacy, Education and Community (Belonging) with Latina Martha Little of Kitsap County - "Anytime we have a conversation with, with someone, it's like, um, you are part of our family. You are part of us. And so we want to impart that, that wisdom and that love, because we want to, um, we want to ensure that we're all a family and we're all, you know, um, benefiting from, from each other."
Transcripts:
Danielle (02:22):
So, I, I wanted to just hear from you because every time I talk to you, there's like a little bits of wisdom in, in all the sentences. And I think that's true of most Latinas. Like, they start talking to you and they're like, By the way, let me give you this piece of really important advice,
Martha Little (02:37):
Danielle (03:08):
Right. And as a community member, I wonder if you would be willing to speak from your experience, Like, what are the aspects that make you feel belonging or maybe you, you, it's easier to speak to where you don't belong? I'm not sure
Martha Little (03:22):
Um, you know, I think that, I mean, I could speak to both. Um, I think that, um, as the older I get, um, the more, um, the more comfortable I am with, um, presenting myself as fully as I am. Um, and so I think that, um, throughout my life, um, I, I was trying so hard not to assimilate, but to, um, I was trying so hard to, um, to have others like me and include me and, and to, um, and to build a space where, where I could show up as myself. And, um, and I just, it seemed like it didn't matter what I did, it just wasn't going to happen. And, um, and I realized that, um, you know, when my kids are, were in high school, and I can tell you a little bit more about that, but I came to this realization that, um, I was, I was perfect just the way I am.
Like, I don't need to change. I don't need to, um, to pretend to be something. I am not just to be included. And so, um, so I started showing up as myself. I started speaking my mind. I started, um, just being more, um, more outwardly Latina than I had been before. And, um, and I realized that, um, you know, the spaces that, that I was going into that maybe did not, did not feel like it was a space where I belonged, I, I started realizing that I had to say something. I had to, um, call it out and help them create a space for my, for me and for, for kids that I support and communities that I support. And so, um, I think that one, some of the things that, that organizations can do to create spaces where, um, where I can show up and feel like I belong in other, other community members like myself, um, is to, um, welcome us into the space.
I mean, just the smile and then acknowledgement that we have entered the space, um, because that's part of our culture is Latinos. I mean, it's that instant smile, Oh, like, what was that? And then, you know, we gravitate and we wanna touch, we wanna shake hands, or we wanna hug, we want to embrace. And, um, and so I think that, you know, white culture, this embracing sometimes is a little awkward. We have our little space bubble that we don't want people to, to cross. And, and we, and I can respect that most of us can, I, I feel, but, but even just that smile, that greeting that, Hey, how are you? Good to see you. Welcome. You know, that would be, um, number one is like, create a space instantly when the person walks in, greet them, um, and let them know that they're, that they're welcome in there.
And then also, um, you know, create a space where, where, um, people are allowed to show up as themselves and speak without criticism. Um, and so, and, and I'll give you an example. I was in a meeting once, um, where they were going over the, the, uh, meeting norms. And one of the norms was to, um, to monitor our, our voice level, our tone, and our body language. And I had to raise my hand and I said, Well, I need to leave then. And they said, What do you mean you're welcome here? And I said, No, that agreement right there tells me that I am not welcome if I have to monitor my body language, I am Latina. We speak with our hands, you know, we speak with our heads, we speak with our bodies. I mean, we get into this conversation, I said, And then, and then if I have to monitor my tone, if I have to monitor my voice, voice level, then I'm not gonna speak.
Because as a Latina, I tend to sometimes get very animated and my voice raises and that, and so, and so, they're like, Oh, oh no, that's not what we meant. What should that say then? And so, um, and so we work through that together as a team. And it took several meetings before we, we ca and I don't even remember where we landed, but it's, again, it's being, um, being aware that sometimes the, the norms or the expectations we have for that space, um, create, um, spaces where we don't feel welcomed, where we can't show up. So in that particular meeting, it, I had to show up as white to be, to feel like I belonged in there. I had to speak softly. I had to, um, sit with my body quiet. And, and that's not who I am. And not that I haven't done that in the past in order to succeed in, in, in this society I have. Um, but like I said earlier, I'm at a point now where it's like, I'm gonna show up as myself, and I'm gonna help you create spaces where I can show up as myself. Um, and so, you know, just, I don't know if you've experienced that through your life, where we've, the more we mature, the more we start to shift and say, Wait, that's not who I am. I wanna be me, and I'm gonna help you create that space.
Danielle (08:46):
I love what you said about welcoming and the sense of hospitality. Even when you show up to a group that is inhospitable, maybe could be seen as inhospitable from there when the cultures come together. Right, Right. It's not necessarily a mix. I had a friend say to me recently, she said, I don't know if, if you are identifying more as Latina or before you just accommodated me,
Martha Little (09:13):
I'm a love that that's exactly it right there. We do accommodate, um, for others cuz we, we want to help them feel comfortable around us. And, um, but I think that there should be a give and take there. We sh we can create spaces where we all feel comfortable, where we all feel welcomed, you know? And, um, it's just a, a little bit of a shift. We're not talking about a, you know, complete change, but just a little shift, think about others and think about how, what kind of spaces they want. And, and I know it's cultural, right? My husband is from, um, Maine mm-hmm.
Danielle (10:28):
Mm-hmm.
Martha Little (10:57):
Yeah, so, um, so the shift started, um, when, my daughters, um, went to high school. And so prior to that I was a stay home mom. And I, um, you know, I was a classic soccer mom, you know, drove 'em to all the different functions and that, and, and, um, we spoke, um, some Spanish at home, but not a lot because I wanted them to, to have a, a strong grasp of the English language. And, and I wanted them to succeed academically and also, um, do well in, you know, in their social environment. And so, um, and that's, that's when I, that's when I, I guess I suppressed my Latina on this because I wanted them to succeed. I wanted them to have opportunities. And, um, come to find out, um, they started sharing with me that they were feeling like they didn't belong in the, in the, um, you know, Mexican community, which is we have a higher number of a Mexican community and impossible.
Um, and they didn't fit in the white world. they weren't Mexican enough because they didn't speak the language as much as, and because they were involved in different sports and they, they just, their lifestyle was different. So they weren't Mexican enough, so, so they didn't belong to, to that community, but then their white peers did not accept them as white. They weren't white enough. Mm-hmm.
Danielle (13:27):
What did it feel like to return to yourself in that way? To like, put on the big earrings, like the outward things, but there were inward things that you,
Martha Little (13:36):
There were inward things. Yeah. Um, you know what it was, um, it was free. I mean, it was, and I didn't, I guess I didn't even realize it. Um, it's almost like, I don't know if you've ever, I mean, Saturday morning loud music and dancing in a house that's classic Latina, that's how it felt. It felt like one day I woke up and I cranked up the Cumbias and I was dancing and singing, you know, and the whole family was, was partaking in this celebration. It felt like I came alive. Um, and, um, it just felt like, okay, I am, you know, I am, I am me, I am Latina and I can embrace this and I can, um, I can help my, my daughters and then my son embrace this, but then also help our, our kids in our, in our schools, um, you know, uh, feel pride in that.
And I don't know if you remember, that's when we started Kule mm-hmm. because that's when it was like, Okay, we need to feel proud of who we are and, um, and we need to outwardly show that pride. And so it was like an awakening for me. Mm-hmm. And it was, it was pretty powerful. It was also, um, it also brought me a lot of joy, um, just inward joy. And it just, and it poured out, I mean, um, regularly. And, and so, um, my hope is that I can take that experience and then help others navigate, um, you know, our, our systems now because, um, no matter how much we try to be white, um, it's not gonna happen. And we, we are still outwardly brown and we're still not going to be embraced by white society the way we, we hope to be embraced. And so, um, so it is better to show up fully as ourselves with that understanding. And then, um, work hard to, to change, um, systems.
Danielle (15:51):
Yeah. You work in the education system. Would you be willing to speak to, I hear that it's like when your, your kids were in high school, right? Is that when you returned to education or got started on that path?
Martha Little (16:02):
Oh, yes.
Danielle (16:05):
Oh. What is that path for you? I know you were a teacher. Yes. Yeah.
Martha Little (16:11):
Yes. So, and I get that old lady. No, so I'm, I'm fine. I'm not emotional, just, um, but um, yeah, so the reason, so before that, I was in the business world, um, prior to, to children. And so, um, you know, I had, I had a, a great career and then got married, had kids, um, and stayed home for a while. And, um, it was actually an experience at one of the, um, secondary schools. Um, my oldest was a sixth grader, and, um, she was being, they were gonna put her in a, um, like a homework help class. And this is a college, this is a college bound kid. She's going to college. We know she's, she, she has, you know, um, we know she's gonna go to school and she, and she wants to, um, to excel academically. And so I went to the school to, um, to, to get her schedule changed cuz she tried. And they told her they couldn't. And so I went and I went there, um, dressed like a mom, you know, ponytail, jeans, but shirt and, and, um, I, I was, um, ignored. I stood in the office for like 20 minutes and no one acknowledged that I was there. And when I finally went up and, and I got, and I got someone to acknowledge I was there, I was dismissed, I was told admin was not available, and I was told that counselors were not available. I was told that my daughter could not be moved out of the class. And so, uh, that moment was pivotal for me because, um, I called my husband and I said, I'm going back to school. I mean, get my teaching. All I needed was my, my teaching certificate. Wow. And I said, because I need to be part of the system. I need to change things. The other thing I did is I went home, I put on a suit, did my hair, I put on makeup, heels, the whole works that I went back to school. And I have to tell you, the minute I walked in that school, immediately they acknowledged me immediately. I was greeted. And, um, the both administrators were available to talk to me at that point. The counselors were available to talk to me at that point. And so, because I had gone from a Latina, the mom to now a business woman in a suit, and, and, you know, dressed professionally, I was greeted differently. I was treated differently that day. My daughter, um, her, her schedule was changed within like 15 minutes. Right.
And so that's when I realized I have to step into this, this world. I, I need to change. I, I need to change systems. I need to be able to be part of a system that I can change. And so that's when I went back to school and got my, um, my teaching certificate. And so, you know, here it is a, a, an act of racism, um, propelled me to change, um, what I was doing professionally.
Danielle (19:16):
I felt all the feels listening to that story. Cause it's not unfamiliar to my family. Right,
Right. I, I remember you in my, in the days when we were in elementary school and you were an advocate and I think teacher and what was your, you had a different kind of like more leadership role at that point.
Martha Little (19:37):
Y yeah, I was a English language coordinator, so I supported, um, our English language learners and families.
Danielle (19:44):
Right. And I remember feeling so cared for by you and understood. And so to hear the backstory of where that comes from, it making use of that experience in a way that impacted my family, it's, it's, it's really inspiring.
Martha Little (20:03):
Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. You know, I think it's, it's, um, our experiences, um, if we use our experiences both positive and negative, um, to, to create change in us and around us, um, I, I think that, um, we can, we can grow, um, both, um, you know, individually and, and as a society. I mean, I, I don't necessarily, I don't necessarily think that, um, or I don't look at all experiences as, um, these horrible, um, instances that, that, um, cause trauma. They do. Some of them do cause trauma. But in this case, um, that was a pitiable point for me because in this case it allowed me to, to, um, to now step into a role that that helps others. Mm-hmm.
And the money's good, but the work I do truly feeds my soul. And, and I feel like, um, that that very negative experience, um, that still sometimes, um, you know, when when it surfaces, it still still angers me. It still creates emotions, um, or, or, you know, brings these emotions out. Um, but taking that and, and then doing something with it, and that's kind of, that's our, uh, Latina heritage that's being Latino that does that from, from the moment we were little, we were always taught that, um, to be grateful. Mm-hmm.
Danielle (22:49):
Where do you see, when you think of those experiences as a child, and now you work with families in our community, and I, I think a lot of immigrant families, right? Mm-hmm.
Martha Little (23:25):
Um, you know, I, I think that, um, when I think about what our, our families experienced, um, during those four years, um, those very hard political years for, for our communities, um, it, it took me back to when I came to this country, when I, when I first arrived here, um, the signs on the, on the, in the businesses, on the business, um, you know, the doors and the, um, the rentals. Um, and, and I shared the story before, but they, um, they said, No dogs, no Mexicans. And I remember as a, as a, like, I think I must have been six, six, just, just about to turn seven. I remember how that impacted me. Um, this idea that I, I, they didn't want me mm-hmm.
And, um, and now I tell you what, I have a dog now, and I love our dog. She's part of our family. But back then, um, my my understanding was that I was being compared to, to an animal and I wasn't wanted. And, um, and so having experienced that as a young child, um, and, you know, learning English, cuz I, I, I didn't speak English. I, um, I remember, you know, constantly being reminded to speak English, don't speak Spanish, don't speak Spanish, speak English. And, and constantly being reminded, um, you know, that I didn't, didn't belong here. And then fast forward to, um, you know, this, this very, um, difficult political time for, for, um, immigrants. Um, again, it felt like, again, we don't belong here. You know, we didn't see the signs, but we heard the message constantly, constantly, you know, this messaging that we are criminals.
We are not wanted, you know, we need to go back. And, um, and so, um, for our families, um, um, 2016, I remember there was this great fear within our community. Um, they were afraid to go out to their homes. They were afraid to step out, um, the kids. Um, we had so many absences because, um, the kids were afraid to go to school and come home and not find their loved ones at home, or, or they knew their mom and dad would be safe. But what about their, the, or their theo or, I mean, it just, it was, it was heartbreaking to, to see this. And so, um, as, I mean as, because I, I had the role as an EL coordinator. Um, we partnered with, um, with Kayak, um, Kitsap Immigrant Assistant Center. And we brought in, um, we brought in folks to, to talk to our community, um, created safe spaces for them, um, and then, um, brought 'em in to talk to our community about what they could do and what their rights were.
Um, and we also brought in, um, you know, the, um, different, um, people from, um, from our communities. We had police department, sheriff, and highway patrol. I mean, we brought in just a lot of folks to, to say, You are safe. We, we are going to take care of you. It's okay to call 9 1 1. It's okay to, to get services. We are here to protect you. And, um, it was a pretty beautiful thing to see, um, our community kind of wrap around our, our Hispanic community and say, You're safe. You're welcome. Now, that's not everyone. Yeah. That, that was a handful of, of folks. Um, but the difference that made, um, for our families, um, when the school districts, um, you know, sent the message to families that their children were safe at school mm-hmm.
I mean, to, to share that message with our, our, um, you know, families that was crucial to helping them feel safe. And, um, and so I think that my role in that really was about partnering with, with our extended community, reaching out and saying, Hey, I can't do this alone and we have a need. And still, And then we all just came together. And, and that's really, I mean, like you and I, this work we're doing right here, and then you inviting me to, to this conference, I mean, that's all about partnerships and, and, um, it's all about, um, you know, reaching out and supporting each other. Mm-hmm.
It's just that it was, it was not, it was not out in the open mm-hmm.
Danielle (29:13):
Yeah, it is a lot. And I mean, it clearly, you know, you've navigated some complex systems and reached across and made partnerships on behalf of folks who aren't able to make those asks themselves maybe for fear, or maybe there was prior threat. Um, but I, what I really hear is that you have built networks and, and, and I think those are likely built in relationships. I know me contacting you is a feeling like, Oh, I think Martha's my friend, I think I know she would listen, so, or I know she might enjoy this or that, so I could invite you. Right. So I really feel that's, that's also part of our culture, like to network and to say like, Hey, I, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, can you help me? Right.
Martha Little:
Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Um, we are, um, very much about relationships. Um, so, so much. Um, and I, I feel like we embrace each other even before we truly get to know each other. You know, there's this instant connected-ness instant thing that connects us. Um, I was in Puerto Rico like four years ago, I think. And um, and it's like I felt the community just accepted as a minute. We got there, we were at the beach just hanging out as a family. And, and I had a lady, um, never, I mean, never. I didn't know anyone there. And she came up and she's like, Nana, and she gave me a hug and this, and then, and she says banana. So she just gives me all these bananas from her home, from her banana trees. And then we would go out into old San Juan. And the same thing, like, someone would come up and just talk to us and, and come in.
And then they would, you know, share whatever it is that they were, um, eating or doing. And, and it's just our culture. We embrace each other. And I shared that with a colleague of mine. And, and then later on she was telling someone else, she says, Yeah, Martha said that she went to Puerto Rico and everybody was hugging her. And I said, No, you missed the whole point. When I say that I was embraced, Yes, oftentimes I was hugged, I was embraced. But mostly it was, it was a spiritual, um, connection. It was a, a cultural embracement. Like from the minute I got there, I belonged and we were, we were a family. We were, you know, friends, you know, we were, um, we just had this connection and, um, and I feel like as Latinos, um, it's just something that happens. We gravitate towards each other and embrace each other. We are, you know, we are P media
Danielle:
Yeah. And I, I just, when I hear that, you know, I'm like, I, I feel warm inside. I I've been telling this story, you know, Julie's 15 and she, we were down in Mexico in Guadalajara for, I don't know, three weeks or whatever in the area for like three weeks. And part of that time, we hadn't been there for eight years with some of our family. And I think we were in Guadalajara maybe two days. And Dooley came up to me and said to me, Mom, why haven't I been here in eight years? And why do I feel like this is home and back home doesn't feel like home. I don't have the feeling. And I, and I was like, thinking about it. I was like, Well, well, I know it's in your dna,
Martha Little (33:22):
It’s not everything else that we acquire that stays. And so, I mean, that's always stayed with me. Um, you know, that, that, yeah. The Nemo sang the normal, all of this beautiful stuff that is just part of our culture.
Danielle:
I hear just the underpinnings of how I don't like the spirituality, the faith. Yes. Like kind of GERDs up for a sense of respect and mutuality. Yes. And of course, our cultures have been interrupted by traumas, and we don't always respond in these ways and Right. Our families are broken too. Right. But there's something underneath that that says, we can come back. This is what we can come back to.
Martha Little (35:40):
Yes, yes, yes. I think that, um, it, it, um, you know, from when we are young, um, you know, everything that we learn and do is grounded in our faith and, um, and, you know, our love for, for each other. And, um, and I think that that's what allows us to, to be, um, maybe a little more resilient. Um, because goodness know, we've experienced a lot. Um, we have a lot of, um, inter intergenerational trauma and we have a lot of, a lot of experiences that, um, could really have a strong impact on us. And, and, and some experiences have, I know that I, I, you know, I still have to process and deal with, with some things, but, um, but it's this, being grounded in this faith that, um, today might be difficult, but it's gonna get better. And we just need to reach out and we need to be there for each other, you know? So, and I think that that also drives my, my work, um, is just understanding that that, um, today may be difficult, but there's hope. I can see it at the end, and I just need to keep moving forward. And there's hope that things will change.
Danielle (37:00):
it's a really beautiful picture. Yeah,
Yeah. When, when you, um, as we're winding down on a time, I'm curious, like what books are you reading right now? What are, what are, Yeah. And then what are you listening to and who are, what's inspiring you? Kinda like these three questions.
Martha Little (37:20):
Oh, um, I just, actually, I just finished, um, reading. It's, it's, um, it's, um, let's see, it's fiction. And I, I'm pulling it up right now cuz I wanna be able to, um, to call it out. Um, so I'm reading, um, texture teaching right now or listening to, and we'll start what happened to you pretty soon because I want to, um, I, I need to understand how to support our students and our families and my own children, um, how to help them work through the trauma they are experiencing. Mm-hmm.
Danielle (38:22):
Oh, we have that book at home.
Martha Little (38:23):
Oh, it was so good. And, and it's, I mean, it's juvenile fiction, but I, I've really enjoyed it. And then, um, just before that, I read for Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and that
Oh, you're gonna love it. Like, I could not put it down.
But that one just, it peaked my interest to the point where now I have to, I have to know more. I have to learn more. And so, so yeah. Um, I mean, I, there's a lot for me to learn a lot from me to do
Danielle (39:18):
Who are, what's inspiring you right now?
Martha Little (39:22):
I think our youth are inspiring me right now. Um, I was just at a, um, Latino Student Union meeting and this group of Latino high schoolers got together and, um, they were very unhappy with some things that happened in, um, in the school. And they got together and they wrote the statement and they read it out loud to an administrator. I was fortunate enough to be there, to be invited. And, um, and I'll tell you what, they inspired me last year. I, I got to meet with our black student union students and they inspired me. Mm-hmm.
Danielle (40:56):
I love that. Well, if someone is listening and they wanna reach out to you, is that an option? Or are you on social media, or how would someone find you
Martha Little (41:06):
So I am not on social media because I work so hard during the day and go to all these meetings in the evening. So I, I just need to be able to step away from it. And so I, I am not on social media and my kids tell me I ought to be, but I'm not. Um, but they can always, um, I mean, they can always, um, email me, um, if they have questions. I, I work for central kids have school district and so they can always email me. Um, and um, yeah, I think that that's probably the best way because until I am brave enough to go on social media, um, or until I decide that I am ready to give up some of my free time to be on social media, um, it's gonna have to be email.
Danielle (41:52):
Well, thank you.
Martha Little (41:54):
Yeah. Thank you for the opportunity to, to meet and to share.