Season 6: Episode 1 What is reality? How do we determine reality? What our the inputs? Who is in our circle? As it pertains to faith, race, gender, and the church - how do we find the reality and experience of this moment? This introduction was recorded over vastly changing reality and political violence and school violence. You will hear that shift in the recording. (It’s painful to be around people who think differently. The question is: how do we converse without devolving into hate or shouting? Today is September 11. Between Charlie Kirk’s assassination, yesterday’s school shooting, and attempted political killings, it’s clear our nation is split into competing realities that shape everything—from how we see safety to how we practice faith and empathy. This podcast is about examining those realities and how we process them.)
The Arise Podcast – Edited Transcript
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to the Rise Podcast. As part of this process, we're going to talk about what reality is—how to find it, and how to ground yourself in it. I’ll have some regular co-hosts with me, as I mentioned earlier, and we’ll continue to explore faith, gender, race, sex, the church—all in the context of discovering reality.
Today is September 10, 2025. As I pushed to get this episode out, plans shifted and things got canceled. I was busy with the kids, checking the news, scrolling Instagram, running errands, picking up sandwiches—just an ordinary day. Then I saw the headline: Charlie Kirk had been shot.
Interestingly, Charlie Kirk and I disagree on almost everything, but I’ve occasionally listened to his podcast. I also listen to the Midas Touch podcast and others across the spectrum to understand what people are thinking and believing.
(01:47)
I ask myself: what reality am I living in, and whose voices am I letting in? When I have the capacity, I listen to people like Charlie Kirk, sometimes tune in to Fox News, check X/Twitter, or look at Truth Social—just to gauge different perspectives.
I live on Squamish land—land of cedar and clear salt water—here in Poulsbo, Washington. Kitsap County is an interesting rural mix. We’re near Seattle, often labeled “ultra-liberal,” but that doesn’t exempt us from racism, elitism, or entrenched power structures. And our rural neighbors may identify as fiscally or socially conservative. You might meet someone who voted very differently from you—someone who will happily bring you cookies, or someone who might actually despise you.
(02:48)
This mix, I think, is closer to reality than living in silos. We may choose echo chambers for news, but we still rub shoulders at coffee shops, restaurants, gyms, and schools with people who think differently.
I keep asking: how do we find a shared space to even talk? How do we locate common reality?
Back in 2020, when George Floyd was murdered, I saw deep fractures emerge. I was just starting therapy groups on race and whiteness. Our diverse group gathered to talk about racism at a time when the country seemed ready for those conversations.
(04:54)
But quickly I noticed what I call splitting—fracturing when someone said something others couldn’t accept or even register in their bodies. It sometimes caused silence or confusion, and often led to sharp, even violent words meant to wound. And often the person speaking didn’t realize the harm.
This fascinated me as a therapist. From a psychological perspective, I began to wonder: which part of ourselves shows up in everyday interactions? At a store, maybe just a polite hello. With a friend, maybe a brief check-in that still doesn’t touch the day’s deeper feelings.
(07:07)
Sometimes those layers of relationship reveal unspoken emotions—feelings inside that remain hidden. Healthy boundaries are normal, but there’s no guarantee that with those we love we suddenly share every vulnerable part of ourselves.
Now add politics, faith, love, gender, culture: more layers. Many of these parts trace back to childhood—traumas, arguments, experiences at school or with caregivers.
(08:15)
So when I see splitting—what some call polarization, black-and-white or binary thinking, or even “boundaries as weapons”—I see people wrestling with what it means to be a neighbor and to engage someone who thinks radically differently.
I feel the temptation myself to label everything all good or all bad. Children need that kind of distinction to learn what’s safe and unsafe, but adults must grow beyond it. Two things can be true at the same time: you hurt me, and I still love you and will show up. Yet our world increasingly tells us that can’t be true.
(11:05)
This pressure to split is intense—internally, from media, from social circles, from family. Sometimes I want to run away into the woods, start a farm, keep my kids home, just stay safe. Today, after news of a school shooting and Charlie Kirk’s murder, that desire feels even stronger.
There are days I simply cannot engage with people who think differently. Other days, I have more capacity.
So where is reality? For me, it’s grounding in faith—literally planting my feet on the earth, hugging a tree, touching grass.
(13:30)
I ask: who is God? Who is Jesus? And who have I been told God and Jesus are? I grew up in a rigid evangelical structure—shaped by purity culture and fear of punishment. I remember hearing, “If God calls you and you don’t act, He’ll move on and you’ll be left behind.” Even now, at 47, that idea haunts me.
When I meet people from that tradition, I feel the urge to split—making my perspective all right and theirs all wrong. I have to remind myself of their humanity and of God’s love for them.
Earlier this year, I chose to resist those splits. I called people where relationships felt scratchy or unresolved, inviting conversation. Not everyone responded, but the practice helped loosen old binds.
(16:55)
I also keep listening to multiple viewpoints. I never “followed” Charlie Kirk, but I’d check his posts and sometimes feel genuine tenderness when he shared about his family. That’s part of loving your enemies—remembering their humanity, even when you feel anger or rage.
I grew up surrounded by conservative media. I even remember the early days of Fox News. As a teen reading Time magazine, I once told my parents that Michael Dukakis’s policies aligned more with my faith than his opponent’s. Over time I drifted toward trickle-down economics, but that early instinct still stands out.
(21:22)
All of us are socialized into certain beliefs. I went from conservative evangelical spaces to a conservative liberal-arts college. People warned I might “lose my faith,” yet those history classes deepened it.
Today many claim that consuming certain media will “distort your reality.” Political violence is rising. I listen to both progressive and conservative podcasts to understand different lives. Yet when I cite something I’ve heard, I’m often told it’s “AI-generated” or “fake,” even when it’s a direct quote. Liberals do this too, around issues like Palestine, policing, or healthcare.
(24:47)
It’s painful to be around people who think differently. The question is: how do we converse without devolving into hate or shouting?
Today is September 11. Between Charlie Kirk’s assassination, yesterday’s school shooting, and attempted political killings, it’s clear our nation is split into competing realities that shape everything—from how we see safety to how we practice faith and empathy.
This podcast is about examining those realities and how we process them.
(26:44)
Sometimes we retreat inward to cope with trauma—what psychology might call dissociation or a psychic retreat. I understand the instinct to step back for safety.
Maybe these divisions always existed, and I just see them more clearly now while raising my children. That responsibility feels heavy.
(29:12)
I often turn to elders and their words—Cesar Chavez, Dolores Huerta, Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” They remind me others have endured violence and hatred and still held onto hope and faith.
I fight for that same hope now.
(30:04)
To ground ourselves we can:
- Connect with the earth: literally touch the ground, trees, water.
- Stay in community: share meals, exchange help, build fences together.
- Nourish faith: draw on spiritual wisdom.
- Cherish family: use loved ones as emotional barometers.
- Engage work and service: notice how they shape and sustain us.
- Face issues of race and justice: ask if we contribute to harm or to healing.
Your grounding pillars may differ, but these guide me.
(32:40)
I invite you to this journey. You may agree or disagree—that’s okay. We need space to coexist when it feels like only one side can survive.
Violence won’t change hearts. Bullets cannot replace ballots. Money cannot buy joy or transformation. Only sustained dialogue and care can.
(34:05)
I’ll share some quotes from Dolores Huerta and Cesar Chavez in the show notes. Please stay curious and seek the mental-health support you need. Don’t be alone in your grief or fear. If you feel triggered or overwhelmed, reach out—to a therapist, pastor, trusted friend, or crisis helpline.
A special guest and new co-host will join me next week. I look forward to continuing the conversation.
Crisis Resources:
Kitsap County & Washington State Crisis and Mental Health Resources
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call 911.
This resource list provides crisis and mental health contacts for Kitsap County and across Washington State.
Kitsap County / Local Resources
Resource Contact Info What They Offer
Salish Regional Crisis Line / Kitsap Mental Health 24/7 Crisis Call Line Phone: 1‑888‑910‑0416
Website: https://www.kitsapmentalhealth.org/crisis-24-7-services/ 24/7 emotional support for suicide or mental health crises; mobile crisis outreach; connection to services.
KMHS Youth Mobile Crisis Outreach Team Emergencies via Salish Crisis Line: 1‑888‑910‑0416
Website: https://sync.salishbehavioralhealth.org/youth-mobile-crisis-outreach-team/ Crisis outreach for minors and youth experiencing behavioral health emergencies.
Kitsap Mental Health Services (KMHS) Main: 360‑373‑5031; Toll‑free: 888‑816‑0488; TDD: 360‑478‑2715
Website: https://www.kitsapmentalhealth.org/crisis-24-7-services/ Outpatient, inpatient, crisis triage, substance use treatment, stabilization, behavioral health services.
Kitsap County Suicide Prevention / “Need Help Now” Call the Salish Regional Crisis Line at 1‑888‑910‑0416
Website: https://www.kitsap.gov/hs/Pages/Suicide-Prevention-Website.aspx 24/7/365 emotional support; connects people to resources; suicide prevention assistance.
Crisis Clinic of the Peninsulas Phone: 360‑479‑3033 or 1‑800‑843‑4793
Website: https://www.bainbridgewa.gov/607/Mental-Health-Resources Local crisis intervention services, referrals, and emotional support.
NAMI Kitsap County Website: https://namikitsap.org/ Peer support groups, education, and resources for individuals and families affected by mental illness.
Statewide & National Crisis Resources
Resource Contact Info What They Offer
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (WA‑988) Call or text 988; Website: https://wa988.org/ Free, 24/7 support for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, relationship problems, and substance concerns.
Washington Recovery Help Line 1‑866‑789‑1511
Website: https://doh.wa.gov/you-and-your-family/injury-and-violence-prevention/suicide-prevention/hotline-text-and-chat-resources Help for mental health, substance use, and problem gambling; 24/7 statewide support.
WA Warm Line 877‑500‑9276
Website: https://www.crisisconnections.org/wa-warm-line/ Peer-support line for emotional or mental health distress; support outside of crisis moments.
Native & Strong Crisis Lifeline Dial 988 then press 4
Website: https://doh.wa.gov/you-and-your-family/injury-and-violence-prevention/suicide-prevention/hotline-text-and-chat-resources Culturally relevant crisis counseling by Indigenous counselors.
Additional Helpful Tools & Tips
• Behavioral Health Services Access: Request assessments and access to outpatient, residential, or inpatient care through the Salish Behavioral Health Organization. Website: https://www.kitsap.gov/hs/Pages/SBHO-Get-Behaviroal-Health-Services.aspx
• Deaf / Hard of Hearing: Use your preferred relay service (for example dial 711 then the appropriate number) to access crisis services.
• Warning Signs & Risk Factors: If someone is talking about harming themselves, giving away possessions, expressing hopelessness, or showing extreme behavior changes, contact crisis resources immediately.